45th dAy WiThOuT yOu~~

It's 3am now. We just celebrated Hor shin's 21st birthday at ABC mamak stall and now at Hor Shin's house pillow-talking. We drank beer just now. Today is 21st of January 2010. 21st is a memorable day for me. and 21st of this month, I have done 2 things that i have never done before. I donated blood (which i think is quite meaningful and worth it, though i had some little problems happened) and i drank beer, so much beer till my face was red and i was abit blur just now.

Maybe it's what we called drunk. Beer is so bitter, i don't know why people will like to drink it no matter happy or sad. But nevermind, at least i have drunk before and i know what the taste was. Don't worry, i had a nap just now at her house and now blogging at her house using her laptop, thanks Hor shin. Wish you have a memorable birthday!! Bless you..

I know every people has their own opinion and perception. Some people will think that i am forcing myself doing things i don't like. But, I am enjoying it. I already understand that I cannot force people. It's not a bad thing to break up although i was sad before or i will be sad some other time. It's the thing i wanna do and it's worth it, not for you only, but myself. I just want to understand the things that you like. It's really interesting. I have learnt the players of MU today from Zuo-Yang, thanks to him. I knew more things about football. And i know how to play dota and i love it. It's really a unique game. (Thought of LAN game with Su xian, but some problems occured and could not play. Sad-nya. I will try again!!Muahaha!!)

Many people don't know about you. Some will blame you for hurting me or said i will deserve a better one. But, I understand you. I really understand you. I know what you want and i respect your decision. I was sad when break up was because i never expect this will happen and i already get use to the life with you. After so many days without you, i can get use to it also. I would say that is a good arrangement for me and you although it hurts.

The life of being a single can be very meaningful and enjoyable meanwhile, heart is *unavailable*. I can still loving you with my way. It does no harm to me, right?? Life is full of challenges, it will have sorrowness and happiness. Life is not complete without all these. Thanks to all my friends who cares about me all the way long and don't worry about me, I am alright with this and I already accept the reality. I already understand. I will live happily!! Thanks to you all and i appreciate you all so much so much.

As usual, I miss you. I hope u won't read this but sometimes i hope you will read this. So contradictory. I scared i will disturb your life. I just want to care about you, silently. Must be happy always.