tHe 35th DaY wItHoUt YoU - rAiN

It's raining right now. I had gastric again today. Feels so bad. I don't want to depend on medicine but i had to take medicine to stop the pain. Rain keeps pouring down and memories starts flashing back. Lots and lots of memories of 2009. Bitter and sweet. Happy and sad. Important and not. Each of them colored my life and made my life interesting. Things in life always happen unexpectedly. The loss of James and the other 2 friends, my break up and obstacles in life, it's really saddening. But, life must goes on. Even if you stop halfway, the others will continue their journeys, continues their stories, colors their own drawing blocks still. You cannot stop other's life as you cannot control your own life also.

It's still raining. I remembered what my friend told me just now that i have to be rational, change my mind, don't behave like this anymore. But, I just wanna try, just wanna give myself one more chance. I know it will be a tough journey since I chose it. And i know it will be a one-way route as well. Because i chose to believe in you, every word from you. No matter you said it for fun or you really mean it, I have fate in you. There is chances that I will get hurt again. But, there is chances that I wouldn't get hurt, right? I'm prepared and i'm transformed. I'm stronger now and more open-minded.

How are you today? Penang trip nice or not? I know you will be very tired now. Do rest more. I still remember the trip that we went together with Wushu Club. The night we and kim and jordan were so rebellious. We curi-curi went to watch a mid night movie. It's unforgettable. And it's the first time i sat on a couple seat with you. That night was really exciting. I still remember that time i was so stubborn. If i were given a chance, i wouldn't be like that anymore. But, there is no turning back. I understand that.

Sometimes i would think that, are you only a dream? If I didn't participate in SRC, i wouldn't have know you. Since foundation also didn't know you. Suddenly you appeared in my life, changed everything of mine. You become an important part of me in my life. Even you disappeared from my life already, you are still important. I have the memories of you around me, I remember everything. Thanks for everything.

I will always love you.